Heard coming from the bedroom tonight:

"This is where we live... and this is where Daddy was born." (Daddy with the new globe.)
"WOW! That is a long way from our house!"

My house is such a mess. I clandestinely "cleaned out" the toy closet while Andrew was at school in preparation for the garage sale (LORD KNOWS I had better not get rid of that half of a broken die-cast no-name car, or the dinosaur whose head broke off.) (Which is not to say that all I have at my garage sale is junk! NO! On the contrary, you should come and buy stuff!)

But on the upside, MY BABY IS MAKING THE MILKIES SIGN!

It is one of those mom moments that makes you want, simultaneously, to shout your excitement from the top of someplace very high (or your blog), and to bury your head in a pillow and cry. MY BABY! What's next? College? Marriage? HOLY CRAP.

And speaking of crap, my dog threw up something that looked just like crap last night. 3 times.

And my husband cleaned it up while I nursed the baby (who woke up just from the smell!). He also babysat while I went out tonight.

And I'll be keeping him, ladies, thank you. For a long time. At least as long as we have the dog. And the kids.

(Upon re-reading my blog [which yes I do often, because, well, how could you not? It's such a joy to read!], I realized you may not know what the milkies sign is. Sign language + baby + all-important mommy milkies = happy baby who can ask for milkies!!! Very, very cute. Will try to get a video. Do you like my excellently correct use of brackets within parentheses? When I get loopy I use lots of parenthetical references. I'm tired.)

Amazing children

My kids were so amazing today. It's best told in snippets.

Being a regular follower of my blog, which I know, because there are only 2 people who read it, yes you, Dad. And Sam. I love you. :) .. you will remember my tea. (yes I know there were many problems with that sentence. I'm tired.) Well, Liliana is INSANE for it. When I drink water, she does her little bounce-in-the-sling dance and reaches for the water, but today I was pouring myself a beautiful glass of the deep red tea, with ice clinking around in the glass, and she went NUTS. She reached over and literally yanked the glass to her mouth and started grunting and sucking on it like she was parched. Which I know she wasn't because she has free access to milk. But this was TEA! She wouldn't let me take it away, with her fat little fingers she had a death grip on the rim of the glass. Seriously! I wish I had it on tape.

And she smelled so good today! Milky and buttery and sweaty and just delicious. Which means Daddy will probably say soon that she's starting to stink and give her a bath. I feel like the animal in the zoo who won't recognize her baby if the zookeepers wash it. But of course, I still nurse her even if she smells like Johnson's and Johnson's, or (eep!) baby powder (ew!).

Andrew gave me a tour of the Jet Museum (the Nat'l Museum of Naval Aviation) today and was he ever cute! He was pointing things out, explaining things to me, climbing in and out of cockpits, and most fun of all, having me follow him around the museum a la "following the leader," with fast steps, slow steps, and wacky steps. SO cute. He really wanted to go on the flight simulator (and I even had some cash for it, I know, don't pass out with shock, you'll miss the best part) but he (I'm not kidding, this is awesome!) looked at the poster for it and said he wanted to go, and after I agreed, he looked back at it and said, "I REALLY want to go. But I don't think you can go in there with THIS," (at which point he tapped the sling about where sleeping Liliana's tush was). Hm. Maybe you had to be there. It was so cute. He opted not to go in by myself, but there was a little hemming and hawwing: "I go in there with Grandpa!" (frown, pout)

Also this morning he gave me a huge hug and said "We'll always be together, Mommy. Even if we get lost and I'm home but you're somewhere else . . . I'll find you." with this gentle tilt of the head and a sweet tone of voice.

We rearranged the bedroom this morning, and it's much better than it was, but still needs some artwork. I plan on posting pics of it as soon as it's done, to showcase how I'm Montessori-izing the house.

Andrew: WHAT are you doing?
Me: Watching the Daily Show.
Andrew: Do NOT.
Me: Okay.
Andrew: It's distracting me from playing.

A Little Rant

I've been reading up lately on ways to help Liliana develop, especially along the lines of the Montessori method, and I find it all really wonderful and enlightening.

However, I am SICK and TIRED of comments like this: "It's very important to help your baby fall asleep without your presence. While holding babies is good, you could be making it nearly impossible for her to fall asleep by herself in the future." (simulation of a quote). And this: "I hold them securely in the water and say 'kick, kick, kick when they start to kick.' This activity helps later with swimming lessons."

This kind of (expletive) is just MADE UP, people! It's totally (expletive) made up. I could say, "You must be very diligent with clipping their nails. This aids in teaching them to have good self esteem and a sense of personal hygiene." Yeah, logically it makes sense, but it's NOT TRUE! Who really knows? Maybe it does the opposite! There's no way to know.

Hey! Oh, wait, there is a way to know. It's called SCIENCE!

Ok, sarcasm over. Thanks.

Liliana's fast birth

WARNING: I use the words, "nipple" and "vagina" in this story. If this is too much for you, please finish the fifth grade before coming back to read this. I actually wrote this for the Florida Friends of Midwives, who were looking for birth stories after a big fat controversy about ACOG (pdf).

I was planning a home birth for my second child because although my first home birth had been long and arduous, it was a success! (He's now 4, and an adoring big brother.) However, my second baby waited until the last minute to come!

My pregnancy was great and I was careful to exercise and eat a varied, whole-foods diet high in vegetarian protein. Around my due date, I started having more intense, regular contractions, but they faded away. Then a few days later, more, and they faded away again. This happened several times. My midwife was constantly telling me, "Babies aren't born with calendars in their hands! They're not born wearing a watch!" and reminding me that normal human gestation lasts 38 to 42 weeks, and we never can be precisely sure when conception occured. At my regular prenatal appointment on Thursday, I finally asked her to check my dilation and was shocked that I was 6 cm dilated. Finally, on Sunday, I decided to drink some castor oil. I did have some strong contractions, but then they went away.

The next day (Monday) she had me to go to the hospital for a NST/AFI (non-stress test/amniotic fluid index) to be sure the baby was doing well. The doctors there were a little freaked out that I was so "overdue," and even told me "nothing good happens after 41 weeks," which I knew wasn't true, but was upset by anyway. The baby was moving a lot and had PLENTY of amniotic fluid (you can look at my stretch marks if you don't believe me), but before I went home the doctor strongly encouraged me to make an appointment for an induction in 2 days, when I would be 42 weeks pregnant.

Meanwhile, I was trying to relax and enjoy the last few days of pregnancy, but I was tired, huge, ready to meet my baby, 6 cm dilated (!) and most of all terrified that I would have to give birth in the hospital, with pitocin and without my (already-filled!) birth tub. Mom bought me a huge bouquet of lilies to reassure me that all would be well. A whole night and day came and went and still no labor.

So, I sat down at home with my husband and midwife and planned everything we could think of to get the baby out. I went to get some acupuncture, I took homeopathics to relax, I finally took 2 more root beer floats laced with castor oil, and swished herbal tinctures every 20 minutes. Nothing was working, we put our son to bed, I was distraught, it was 10 p.m., and I'd have to go in the next morning for an induction! I was most upset about having to pack a hospital bag. I'd never done that before, had no idea what to pack, and if I didn't do it right then, I surely wasn't gonna know what to pack at 5 a.m. (that upset me, too, that they wanted me to wake up early for my induction, before their shift change, and because "average labors last 10-12 hours, and then we're into the nighttime.")

I just broke down and cried to my husband, big wracking sobs that let out all the fear I'd been having around the hospital situation. Then I finally started having contractions. I was NOT going to let those contractions fade away at the eleventh hour so I bounced on the birth ball, gently rubbing my nipples. My parents arrived, and then I was lying down on the bed with my labor-inth and having more intense contractions, and then I sat on the toilet and things really started to move, and I was making those sounds mamas make when it's getting intense.



I walked into my bedroom kind of bowl-legged, and said, "wow, it feels like the baby is just going to fall out," and suddenly, SPLAT, my water broke. It was really just my forewaters, because then when my midwife arrived and checked me a few minutes later, at about 11:45, she got the rest of it all over her (like I said, I make enough amniotic fluid for a soccer team of babies). She said, if I wanted to have this baby in the birth tub I'd better get in NOW because I was 9.5 cm dilated. I got in, had 2 or 3 more contractions during which I was squatting and twisting the edges of the birth tub and saying between gritted teeth, "I can't do this anymore!" to which, of course, everyone said, "You're doing it! You're doing it," and my husband laughed with joy and said, "and it's at home!"

And the best part! I get teary-eyed thinking of this. Then I felt the most powerful sensation of being totally open and a very calm quietness just held the whole place around me still. I felt things MOVING inside of me, like all the tumblers had clicked into place, and my baby moving into my vagina and down and through and without thinking I reached down and there was hair! Soft, wavy mermaid hair floating in the water of the tub, inside my body, pausing, ready to be born. My midwife later said she saw my eyes get wide and my eyebrows go way up, and she knew it was time. I remember thinking that the baby wasn't doing that 2 steps forward, 1 step back dance that my son did on his way out. She was just there, and feeling the ring of fire, I thought, go back in for a minute, kid! But the pain of the contractions was much less, so I just breathed through that stinging sensation.

The midwife told me to roll over, and I was having a hard time understanding words people were saying, so I think she had to repeat herself. I rolled belly up while the water was just hugging me (us!), and saw my husband standing in front of me. I closed my eyes and tried not to push, tried to just breathe slowly, and out she slipped, into the water and her daddy's hands. He lifted her up into my arms and we all stared at her in a glorious moment of silence, in our home, while the two of us were cradled in the water.

After an eternity, I gave her to my mom and the midwife and her assistant helped me out of the birth tub. I heard my husband say to my mom, "How come YOU always get to hold them first?" and I chuckled but then they guided me onto the birthing stool to push out the placenta, which was much more uncomfortable than the first time. It was a little before 1 in the morning, only 2 hours after labor began and about 5 hours before my appointment for an induction at the hospital. My midwife was happy to call and cancel it for me. Happy doesn't even begin to describe my mood.

Then I sat up in my bed against my pillows and nursed my beautiful baby for the first time, while my husband fixed me a fabulous breakfast of lentil soup with rice and spanakopita. My midwife and her assistant cleaned up, my dad went to sleep in the guest bed to keep an eye on us, and my mom went home, and we fell asleep with our baby. We woke up at 8 that morning (after also waking to nurse, of course), to a new big brother climbing into the bed with us and saying, "She's byoootiful!" like it was Christmas morning and she was his gift.

See? Good things DO happen after 41 weeks.

Liliana, 7 months

Liliana. 7 months. Doesn't really compute. I can still see the huge bouquet of lilies in my living room, green and white and waiting for her to be born.

And somehow, here she is, eating and yelling and gha-gha-ghaing her way into toddlerhood.

Often, instead of putting her in the sling, which is becoming more of a naptime or out-and-about thing, I'll just carry her on my hip and then set her down at any of the stations I've created around the house. There's the table in the kitchen where Andrew eats his snack, under which I've stashed a basket of toys, and then the living room, and the basket in the bedroom. But now, when I put her down, she HANGS ON. Seriously, she just grabs with her little fists and kicks at the floor with her little (fat STRONG) legs, and mommy no put down the baby.

Which brings me to standing. Yes! Standing! It is her new obsession. She leans forward, grabs onto anything (Mommy, shelf, big brother.. that one's funny. The first time she did that, he was all, HELL NO and shrugged her off. Big tears. Now he PICKS HER UP. I kid you not. The kid can carry his fat baby sister through the whole house. She is half his weight. This is a very long parenthetical remark.), and just... up. Wow.

And now she's moving on to something else grand. She walks her hands forward onto all fours, and then back again. She's been on all fours before of course, although it was more like tummy time with an occasional belly off the floor, but now she is very deliberate. Left hand, right hand, left, right, and she's a little puppy! And then back toward her and she's sitting up! It's so cool.

Also, she loves to talk. Gha, gha, gha (just ask Daddy to imitate this sound, he does it all the time, it's his favorite thing), and a spittley bpabpa. She's AWESOME.

Also she's very into her hands. She does the slow, contemplative, Baby Wrist Turn that I love, and loves to pick up things, when she's not using her hands to desperately cling to me.

Everything still goes straight. into. the. mouth. She's not really ready for nesting or stacking or anything not involving some mouth with the hands. And she has two teeth! And she can giggle..

Hi ho the cherry oh...

Heard from the bathroom:

"Can somebody wipe my butt? Can SOMEbody wipe my butt? Hi ho the cherry oh, can somebody wipe my butt..."

"Would you like someone to wipe your butt?"

"YES! I've been waiting for YEARS!"

And there ensued a conversation about what happens at school if you have to poop and then you have. to wipe. your. own. butt. Oh no!